Karma is a bitch.

God knows what I did wrong...honestly lol

Walking home from a donner up the street and see this old fella with a concerned looking lady behind his mobility scooty thing, she manages to flag me down and ask if I can help push the old guy up a small slope as his battery has died and he's stuck, she's no relation to him she was just helping out too.

So *bump* and up the slope we get and I ask if he has far to go.....mistake lol.

"oh no" spake he so down goes the hero of our tale, heaving, shoving, straining and eventually heaving for air.

Is the brake on or something? "Oh no" spake he once more....more shoving...."It's just that the wheels at the back here are sticking...."

....pause for gulps of breath..."Is the brake this yellow lever at the back? the one next to a padlock symbol whilst above it is an unlocked padlock?"

"I don't know" spake he for the third time...I flick the switch and though it was hardy free-wheeling it does make the job a bit easier...old daftie had his brakes on and drove around for 20mins before the battery gave up.

So 10 mins later we get him to the back of his house and as he gratefully shakes ladies hand they look round and seeing me missing ask "Who was that gasping man"...I hadn't left, I'd just needed a lie down in the long grass...

Only thing is on the way home I got a face full of grit and couldn't see through my right eye for 2 hours...fml! (not really lol)

What really annoyed as I'm sure you know by now is we passed at least 6 young healthy strong neds who only added a sneer to our plight. When I was younger I can remember carrying strangers bags, happy to do so.

So after all that I realise that at my age I need to do more that just try to eat healthily I need to do some exercise so that's the plan and may Grudd have mercy on my soul.

It's just came on TV as I type and it's that FUCKER singing "Total Eclipse of the Heart" on the T-mobile advert - he is the most tuneless fuck ever and I will kill him if we should meet. (By kill I of course mean frown at as I am British)

More ads that make me sigh/chuckle/angry?

Car ads where they show the top of the range car and the small print on screen for 2 nanoseconds "Price quoted is for basic car" i.e. you'll be lucky to get wheels for that price.

Toothpaste ads that claim to give "a dentist clean (and here's the word that lets them get away with it) FEELING" small print says.."Does not give professional results"

All advertising is bull, no advert beyond ones basically advertising the fact that the product exists has ever affected my buying choice but there is one advert that will tickle me till the day I die...



Trumpets!